Well everyone is in bed and this long day is coming to a close, and yes it has been an extremely long one. Last night was rather sleepless and morning came exceptionaly early as we were to be at Mercy Medical Center at 6:30 am for Dawn to have outpatient surgery. This morning they installed a port in her upper right chest just below her clavicle, this will make it much easier for them to inject the Chemo and collect blood for labs. Many of the nurses in the outpatient center are Christians who attend Bethel, and one of the men who assisted with Dawns procedure is a very dear friend from LCC and I must say that this made the time there much easier to bare. However I must admit that it is times like this when I'm tired, beat down, and sitting in the quiet that I cannot help but ask God the pounding and obvious question, "are you going to heal Dawn?" I mean lets face it, that truly is the biggest thing on my mind, I don't feel compelled to ask Him why, no not in the least bit, that answer is in every conversation, every email, every comment read, it is all for His glory! You see every lesson we learn becomes one that others have learned, every challenge we face so many of you face alongside us (to the best of your ability to comprehend), and through it all we see so much more of His grace and mercy every day. One thing that I have learned and am reminded of daily is that in my flesh and on my own the questions far outweigh the answers, and in my flesh I would fail to make it through another day. It is times like these that in your flesh you begin to wonder if there was something you could have done different, or something you did to cause this affliction to befall your family, yet I know that the reality and the truth is that those are just tricks of the enemy, ploys designed to bring me down, and I refuse to let them. For by realizing my total weakness in my flesh my sprirt becomes stronger, He becomes my strength and now it is not a man filled with fleshly desires, weaknesses and fears that the enemy faces, but rather the spirit of God within a man and that the enemy fears. You see I believe that satan does not have any reason to fear a man or woman who is yelling, whispering, or in any way trying ti influence him by thier great spirituality. Satan does however greatly fear that spirit of the living God that dwells within us, that spirit that when surrendered to causes the enemy realize his right position, one of submission to the will of almighty God, Elohim! Today and every day I must remind myself that this is not a battle that I can win, a cancer I can cure, or a wife that I can save. No the reality is that He alone can win this battle, he alone can save my wife, and He alone will be our strength, therefore it is He alone to whom I will surrender my will, no matter how loud my flesh cries out! Bless you my friends as you lift up my family and walk through this time of great trial with us, we love you all so much!
Gene
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