Ouch this hurts!

Today has become one of those days that you don't really enjoy much, the fact that it is my brithday has not really entered into my thinking, I guess after 40 it doesn't really matter anymore. The reality is that today I have been reminded by the stark reality that my wife is suffering, heavy emphasis on the word suffering from a terrible diease. Most days in the last month have been largely physical pain and symptom free, the bulk of the pain until now has been emotional. With emotional pain you are able to escape in one way or another, you can direct your pain to someone or something, you can lean on your faith, or you can just cry, all of which bring some form of relief from it. But on days like this when the physical pain begins to manifest, somehow it strikes to the very marrow of your joints, it reminds you that there will be suffering that cannot be controlled, avoided, or ignored. You see no matter where you go for comfort you cannot find it, for it is in you, with you, always, constantly intensifying as if to punish you for being alive. It is as if pain in itself were an entity capable of recognizing your will to be free from it, yet by allowing that freedom the pain would somehow itself die, therefore it must rage on for it's own existence. When you witness this pain attacking someone you love, someone of whom you are a part of, anger quickly enters in, and frustration follows as you realize there is nothing you can physically do to make it better for the one you love. When truly all you desire to do is to be able to take on the pain yourself in order that they might be at peace.
Somehow this has allowed me in a very small way to understand the reason for, and the intesity of the suffering of Jesus in a way which I have never been capable of before. You see He saw the intensity, and anger of pain, He saw how the enemy of our souls desires nothing less than this same intense destructive and debilatating pain for all mankind. After all the pain of others is the only comfort to pain that satan feels. Satan has no desire to take your pain, he only desires that we suffer more. Then on the other side we see Jesus who knowing the intensity of that pain took it all on willingly. After all I and many others of you would willingly take on Dawn's sickness unto death out of our love for her, so why then can we who would do so not understand why Jesus would desire and do so for us!He accepted the consequence of that intense hatred that satan bears and bore it all, unto death, in order that we would not have to. Now I know that there are many who do not understand or believe these things, and they don't have to, but I will say this, I don't know how Dawn, Myself, or Children and our Grandchildren would do without this belief, because without it, this is how it all ends, in pain and in suffering!
I have always taken great pride in being a man of optimism, someone who sees the jar half full and as hard as it may seem I can honestly say nothing has changed. Is there a particular person or group of people who I am thinking of as I write, absolutely not, you see I know that this is a spiritual battle so much of what I say in all my writings is directed to that realm, so please do not assume I speak of anyone. You see I believe that what we are seeing in the flesh in nothing more than the manifestation of the battle taking place in the heavenlies, therefore it is not any particular individual or groups of people who are an issue, it is rather something we do not even see or truly understand. And that my friends is my truth, Love you all so much!
Gene