I give myself away

I Give myself away


Earlier this week the lord placed a statement upon my heart, one that soon became my posting on Facebook: “I give myself away”. Little did I know the power of that statement or the effect it would have on my life in the ensuing days. Soon after my posting someone I care very much about and for commented that I should look up the song by the same name on youtube, and so I did. While this song and those who perform it (William Mcdowell), have moved me greatly I have quickly come to recognize the hand of God directing me to an amazing place of fellowship and commitment to Him as a result. The statement “I give myself away so you can use me” simply will not leave my mind, nor do I desire it to. This morning in my quiet time with the Lord I asked Him to give me a message of great power for those who would take away from their valuable time to read these ramblings of his servant and He was so quick to answer. He led me to listen to the song not just once but twice and had it not been for the river of tears flowing from my face I would be listening still. The tears however were not because of the powerful voice, great back-ups or instrumentals in the song, no the tears were born deep in the heart and the mind of a man filled with pain, fear, anxiety, and questions. As you all should know the past year was no doubt the most difficult year of my life, we left our Church of 31 yrs. to begin a new work. Dawn is diagnosed with terminal illness and soon joins the Lord, followed by more questions, doubts, fears, and so much more than could be written about in a thousand years. Had it not been for His faithfulness I would have not made it. Reflecting upon these things I had come to the somewhat arrogant position of believing that I had a handle on my walk with God, that somehow I had given all away in order that He might use me. I began tis adventure not knowing how to survive without Dawn and now have come to a place that I could not have ever been had she survived and were here with me know. This place of living each day knowing that anything or anyone He removes from my life is ultimately for His greater good, and mine as well. It is not a contest between the Lord and I to see how much pain we can endure before He bails us out, no this is not a game, this is life, a life committed to giving it all away to serve Him.
This morning I truly gave it all away, every desire, every want, every fear, every question, every doubt, every sin, every care, they are all His. You see it’s not that I don’t care any more, it’s that suddenly and truly nothing else matters. What greater joy can there be than to be in a place where the cares of this world truly do not matter, a place where you absolutely trust Him for everything. I don’t mean saying that we trust him and then worrying about the outcome, no I mean trusting Him and walking away knowing that every plan and purpose He has is going to bless us and work out for His greater glory. I have given it all away today, I watched in my mind’s eye this morning as every worldly possession I had was handed over to Him, every care, every vehicle, every hobby, every passion, everyone I love, and so much more, I have given them all to Him. I have given them now in such a way that they are His, and I cannot have them to use unless He so wishes or considers it best for me. He can lock them up, He can destroy them, He can give them away, or He can allow me to use them, bu they are His, and I trust Him completely with them. A dear friend who has been through the same loss shared that this was the culmination of her healing, the day she gae it all away. Could it be that we are all in some form of grief and giving it all away is the only true way to a complete and absolute healing?
What do I expect in return you ask? “I give myself away so you can use me.” You see none of these things ever belonged to me I just assumed they did, after all I collected them correct? No they never were mine, if they were permanently mine wouldn’t I own them forever? What is it we take with us when we leave this earth, is there any single thing that is allowed to join us on the other side? I am convinced that the fishing pole my father was buried with remains to this day in his coffin and yes in a rather deteriorated state. The only thing we take with us my friends is the stuff we rarely see, the lives that were touched, the souls that were won, the smiles of those whom we have blessed, the things not of this world those are the things we can collect and carry over and nothing more!
Another lesson I have learned in my life that has been reemphasized this year is that “you cannot outlive God” but live trying. Job received a double blessing from God for His trials, he lived a good long life, and in his trials he gave it all away and found what mattered most. Everything I have given the Lord has been redeemed, even Dawn, her memory never fades, her influence lives on, but she is the Lords completely now.
I now longer own anything I have given it all away, and today my burden is so light, He is truly all I need, He will sustain me, and he will use me. Please consider joining me in this radical style of living, it requires little change and the blessing is beyond all measure and imagination. Take those things that you are hanging on to and give them back to their rightful owner, tell the Lord, “My life is not my own I give it all to you, so you can use me” you will not be disappointed.
Gene Burroughs
Servant