Earlier today I was sitting in a local parking lot finishing a very enjoyable conversation about the things of God when I observed something that truly gave me a revelation form the Lord. You know how it is when you view a happening that perhaps you have see a dozen times before and suddenly a word picture comes to life that forever changes your view. I was parked adjacent to the two center Handi-Capped Parking spaces when a young man in small compact car pulled up to the only unoccupied of the two spaces. He was obviously nervous and I immediately assumed that he was going to ignore the markings and park where he shouldn’t, it was actually quite puzzling because there were numerous spaces just two cars away. However as I usually am when I assume things I was wrong, he produced a Handi-cap placard and placed it upon his dash as he leapt out of the car, it was as if placing the placard was an afterthought. It was also immediately obvious this was a perfectly healthy nineteen to twenty year old youth who had no need of specialty parking. My first response was one of frustration and indignation, however as I finished my call and began to reflect upon what I had seen the Holy Spirit began to reveal quite clearly the spiritual implication of what I had just witnessed. This vision was both a warning as well as an encouragement, the Lord was showing me what to avoid as well as how to lead. You see this young man had purposed in his heart to take something that he was not entitled to, he had purposed in his heart to deceive! And while this is no great revelation but rather an amazingly simple observation let us look further into the implications. By partaking of a benefit that is rightfully reserved for those who are disabled, suffering, or in need of such benefits this young man denied another person of their pleasure, or convenience, he had denied others of their blessing that was reserved just for them. Could it be that just as things are on this earth that there are consequences for this action, a penalty to be paid in the spirit realm? Is it possible that this young man has now somehow chosen his destiny? Could it be that by choosing to receive the benefits of being disabled that he has now somehow allowed or invited that very disability upon himself? Now don’t get me wrong I’m not attempting to start a new theology or get freaky on you but one thing is for certain, there were and will be consequences when people choose to deny others of their rightful blessing when they themselves have no need of it, they do so only because they are selfish and desire to please themselves. If the church in America or anywhere in the world for this matter, (of which we are members) chooses to partake of such activity how then are we to change our world? How then can we “Let our light so shine before men that they may see our good works and glorify our Father in heaven?” If we as believers are parking in the disabled spots of the Church when we truly have no need of them (I’m not speaking of the parking lot mind you) how then will those in need receive their rightful blessing? I believe with all of my heart that far too many believers have chosen for themselves to play a role unintended for them and have consequently become those in need as opposed to becoming victorious. If we by our actions purpose to become and or act as disabled believers why then are we surprised when we see so many believers failing, broken, and falling back in to a life of temptation? It is high time that we stop playing or living in roles unintended for us and walk in the victory that Christ by His sacrifice has provided for us. May I finish with this thought; if I see that you are about to walk over a cliff and I neglect to warn you out of fear of offending you how have I blessed you? As you are falling toward your imminent death will you thank me for not offending you, or will you curse me for not loving you enough to warn you?
Tomorrow is the last day of this session of Dawn’s chemotherapy, praise the Lord! She is not doing very well, she is rather weak and her asthma is not letting up, but she still has her smile. I personally believe that her asthma is directly related to the stress we are being subjected too much by the scheming of the enemy of our soul. Over the last two days the issue with Michaela’s incident at school has reared its ugly head once again. I truly do not wish to go in to detail because to do so would continue to harm others, some of which are truly innocent. I do wish however to clarify some things, the backpack and gift card came from a cousin and his wife in Napa who dearly love the Lord and chose to bless Michaela, as they did. The tuition came from an anonymous donor who will remain nameless; apparently my wording in former blogs could mislead readers to believe that these came from some of the children and or parents involved in this unfortunate set of happenings which is not the case. I would also appreciate your prayers as I negotiate my way through this mine field of emotion, while I am a gentle man I do not sit passively by when I think my family is being wronged and mistreated. However that is no excuse for neglecting to pray for all involved, and submitting to the Lord’s restorative will, not that I have but I covet your prayers for helping me not to do so
Gene
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
"Greater is He"
A few weeks ago I performed my first funeral at the Shasta Lake Church, the young woman of 33 died from a mixture of complications from Lupus and a lifelong struggle with drug use. The folks in attendance were as diverse a group as you would ever see at a funeral, rather similar to our Sunday services. A mixture that looks much like one of the quilts that the ladies have made for my wife, a patch of blue collar, a patch of white collar, throw in some homeless, a few ex-cons, add a drug dealers for color and a few users and that’s pretty much a s diverse as it gets. In particular there were two men sitting in the second row who were obviously high on something, or maybe under multiple influences. They were well adorned in prison style tattoos and there was no doubt about their affiliation, they were most definitely, and wanted everyone to know “Some Bad Boys.” One in particular the larger of the two appeared to be filled with a demonic spirit and I truly was expecting there to be a manifestation or confrontation. While not a big deal for me, it is not something you desire or expect to see at a funeral service. Well I arrived at a point during the service when a reading of the word was appropriate and no sooner had I begun when the larger of the two men stood up and yelled “This is bull S _ _ _, don’t listen to this guy”, then the other guy chimed in and off they went, their tirade lasting for no less than ten minutes as they moved around the room making remarks about what I was doing. I felt led by the Spirit to just keep reading as if they were not there and so I did. Seeing their actions were not causing the response they sought they moved their party to the parking lot where they continued to feed their egos and desire for a fresh buzz. That night as I reflected on this incident I must admit my anger overwhelmed me, not my anger for these men and their actions so much as my anger toward the liar and deceiver of this world. Man has chosen to allow the devil rather than God to rule the earth, however when things go bad God gets the blame for not stopping it, there is something wrong with this picture. These men stirred up things in a Church at a funeral they entered in at their own choosing, yet when what goes on in a Church begins they get mad and make every attempt to stop it. One thing they forget, or may not even understand however is this, “Greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world”. On my way to Church Sunday morning (the day after the funeral), I found myself filled with that same anger at the enemy as I had the night before, prayer seemed to be the best course of action. I found myself praying in particular for these two men, that God would present them with a choice, that He would confront them in His anger, that they would be forced to choose either to suffer the consequences of their action’s or to turn their lives over to Christ. I confess that I prayed that plagues and tragedy would come upon them if that’s what it would take to get them to turn their lives around. I know that this may sound harsh but what is better that a man enter heaven with one arm, or that he not enter at all? I had finished the message and was standing in the back while Luke led us in a closing song when I noticed a man looking at me intently, he had tears in his eyes and he looked very familiar, it was him, the smaller of the two men! As I approached he stood up, hugged me, apologized for his actions, and thanked me for allowing him to come back to church. In that moment his life was changed, he threw off his façade and became alive again! I asked Josh (that was his name) to join me in front of the Church, and we agreed that he needed to ask the church for forgiveness and make a public confession of his faith, and so he did. Josh has been to church every time the door is open, he brings friends, family, loved ones, and he can’t stop telling people about his changed life, he has truly been born again! I believe that this story is a very good example of what is taking place in the lives of my family at this time in our lives. We are in a fight, a fight for not just our lives and livelihood, but for the lives of many others most of which we have never met! We are in a battle which the consequences are eternal, these consequences are not just a temporary high or fix, these are everlasting consequences hence the reason for the intensity of these attacks. Yes we know where we are going, we are secure in our salvation, but is that truly enough, are we ok with knowing we have the cure and then keeping it to ourselves. Men have fought and died for centuries in search of eternal life, fortunes have been won and lost seeking eternal bliss, yet the cure is free for the taking, even then however so many will choose to ignore it. I understand why many would say they want nothing to do with the type of life my family has chosen, after all if you look at the outer circumstances it is not very appealing, However this is a path we have chosen, one we desire to walk, not everyone is called or equipped to do so, in fact very few are, however we gladly accept this road, this path, this call. No I’m not bragging, this is nothing to brag or boast about, this is a walk of humility and grace, but be not confused humility is not allowing yourselves to be walked upon, humility is strength under control, the control of the Holy Spirit. One who is controlled by the Spirit is protected by the Spirit and there is none greater or more powerful than He! Dawn’s chemo is almost over for this round and none too soon, she has become very weak and her pain level has increased dramatically. We see her cancer Doctor on Friday possibly some answers, keep praying for her asthma to be healed and that she will not get pneumonia. Bless you and thank you all!
Gene
Gene
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Quite the Ride
As I look back upon the happenings of this past week I cannot help but look beyond, back in to the farther depths of the well of strange happenings, and tragedies of the past four months since this chapter of our lives began. To say that it has been strange, weird, or to use any other available adjective to describe it falls so short that I dare not waste the time. This has all been nothing short of supernatural, the kind of things that people locked up in closets for long periods of time come up with, yet this is and has been for us reality. Everything from cancer, to pipes breaking, ceilings falling in, roof leaks, gas leaks, cables cut, delays in care, bathroom blood lettings, more delays, chemo businesses closing down, forgotten appointments, boils, infections, strange diseases, Insurance delays, need I go on? However to only expose the dark nature of circumstances and situations would be to give the devil too much glory and the Lord to little, so let’s take another look at the recent goings on.
On Monday Michaela (our youngest) was pant’s by a girl while walking up the hill from the playground and shortly after her backpack was found in the boy’s bathroom. However since this day the young lady offender has sincerely apologized and I truly believe that she realized her joking around was not always appropriate. The young man involved in the backpack incident has and is still going through a punishment and the details are more appropriately left private. The new Pastor of the school was able to show that he is a man who cares for his children and that justice will prevail under his leadership, and Michaela has learned that she can trust him to look out for her and all of the children. Today Michaela received by mail a brand new “super cool” backpack complete with a Target gift card inside. On Monday night I experienced a severe attack of Meneres’s disease (vertigo on steroids), and sent my entire family and myself in to a panic. Just to give you an idea here is one way to describe it: climb in to the round up ride at the fair, don’t strap in, and let them turn the ride on. Now you never know when the ride will stop but two things are for certain, they won’t turn it off soon enough, and secondly you can no more suppress the urge to remove the contents of your insides via your throat including parts that should not come out no more than you can stop the ride. By Friday the attacks are nonstop (to varying degrees of severity), and everyone even the doctors and specialists are a little concerned, so off to a brain scan. And the results are, may I have a drum roll please; you got it nothing wrong! I know you thought I would say nothing there, ha ha, no they found a brain, one with no lesions or visible damage, another miracle I might add. So where is the good side you ask? First of all I was able to spend the day with a very good friend, one who cares enough to run me all over town without complaining, and one who loves my family dearly. Secondly we received two prophetic words from folks who both said that we were nearing the end of this trial. No less than four people shared with me this week that the Lord was about to release His blessing and prosperity on Shasta Lake. Another friend who was in Israel last week informed me today that while she was there the Lord gave her a burden for Michaela and that she had been praying for her with no idea of what was taking place. Someone paid our daughters tuition at CCS for the next five months, another person took both Natalie and Michaela shopping for clothes today! I had no more attacks today, (don’t worry Dr Mu I’m staying inactive), our bills are paid and we have a roof over our head. Dawn is still with us, and she and I are very confident that with all of my medical testing through these trials I am actually very healthy and there appears to be nothing lurking within me that will prevent me from taking care of our family. Our faith has been bolstered the enemy has been frustrated we have prayed with hundreds if not thousands, and God has been glorified! So just what have we learned this week? We learned that we have a great number of friends and family who love us, pray for us, care for us, and are there for us! We were reminded once again that we serve a sovereign God who will allow nothing to come upon us that has not first passed by Him and been allowed for our betterment, and finally we have learned to be grateful for all of this and so much more. We have no idea what tomorrow will hold for this family, what mountains, chasms, valleys, blessings or trials await us, but we do know this one thing, that we will not be alone and that He and we will ultimately prevail, no matter what!
Please pray for Dawn her Asthma is acting up and we would not want her to develop pneumonia as that could be very dangerous for her. To this point the side effects of the chemo have been very minimal and for that we are truly grateful.
To God be the glory! Amen
Gene
On Monday Michaela (our youngest) was pant’s by a girl while walking up the hill from the playground and shortly after her backpack was found in the boy’s bathroom. However since this day the young lady offender has sincerely apologized and I truly believe that she realized her joking around was not always appropriate. The young man involved in the backpack incident has and is still going through a punishment and the details are more appropriately left private. The new Pastor of the school was able to show that he is a man who cares for his children and that justice will prevail under his leadership, and Michaela has learned that she can trust him to look out for her and all of the children. Today Michaela received by mail a brand new “super cool” backpack complete with a Target gift card inside. On Monday night I experienced a severe attack of Meneres’s disease (vertigo on steroids), and sent my entire family and myself in to a panic. Just to give you an idea here is one way to describe it: climb in to the round up ride at the fair, don’t strap in, and let them turn the ride on. Now you never know when the ride will stop but two things are for certain, they won’t turn it off soon enough, and secondly you can no more suppress the urge to remove the contents of your insides via your throat including parts that should not come out no more than you can stop the ride. By Friday the attacks are nonstop (to varying degrees of severity), and everyone even the doctors and specialists are a little concerned, so off to a brain scan. And the results are, may I have a drum roll please; you got it nothing wrong! I know you thought I would say nothing there, ha ha, no they found a brain, one with no lesions or visible damage, another miracle I might add. So where is the good side you ask? First of all I was able to spend the day with a very good friend, one who cares enough to run me all over town without complaining, and one who loves my family dearly. Secondly we received two prophetic words from folks who both said that we were nearing the end of this trial. No less than four people shared with me this week that the Lord was about to release His blessing and prosperity on Shasta Lake. Another friend who was in Israel last week informed me today that while she was there the Lord gave her a burden for Michaela and that she had been praying for her with no idea of what was taking place. Someone paid our daughters tuition at CCS for the next five months, another person took both Natalie and Michaela shopping for clothes today! I had no more attacks today, (don’t worry Dr Mu I’m staying inactive), our bills are paid and we have a roof over our head. Dawn is still with us, and she and I are very confident that with all of my medical testing through these trials I am actually very healthy and there appears to be nothing lurking within me that will prevent me from taking care of our family. Our faith has been bolstered the enemy has been frustrated we have prayed with hundreds if not thousands, and God has been glorified! So just what have we learned this week? We learned that we have a great number of friends and family who love us, pray for us, care for us, and are there for us! We were reminded once again that we serve a sovereign God who will allow nothing to come upon us that has not first passed by Him and been allowed for our betterment, and finally we have learned to be grateful for all of this and so much more. We have no idea what tomorrow will hold for this family, what mountains, chasms, valleys, blessings or trials await us, but we do know this one thing, that we will not be alone and that He and we will ultimately prevail, no matter what!
Please pray for Dawn her Asthma is acting up and we would not want her to develop pneumonia as that could be very dangerous for her. To this point the side effects of the chemo have been very minimal and for that we are truly grateful.
To God be the glory! Amen
Gene
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Been a long Time
Yes it has been more than just a little while since I last wrote, and while I do apologize I must say I just did not have it in me. For weeks now I have been trying to put pen to paper to no avail, unable to gather my thoughts for more than a millisecond, I simply stopped trying to think. Early Sunday morning past I found myself crying out to God "what is wrong with my mind?", and believe it or not He showed me! He showed me in a very strange vision that I had been deppressed and oppressed, not in the same way that I have been in the past, yet none the less both indeed. You see a spirit of deppression had settled upon me, so effective and deceptive was it that I didn't even see it, feel it, or recognize it until I cried out to God and He faithfully showed it to me. Upon seeing it, I was able to rebuke it, and upon rebuking I felt that it had left, however this feeling would be short lived.
Monday Morning I awoke with new and clear vision, I had a zeal to take on the world, a desire to return to my former joy, and so I did for at least a few hours. At 3:30 my mom came over delivering to me a not so happy twelve year old daughter whom she had rescued from school, you see mom has volunteered to take the girls to and from school for me on Mondays just to give a me a much needed break. Anyhow Michalela had a very bad day, first a girl pulled Michaela's pants down to her knees as she walked up the hill from the playground! Then as she topped the hill she finds that her backpack complete with all of her schoolwork and personal belongings was resting the boys restroom! No I am not making this up! Apparently we have some children who think it is no big deal to torment a fellow classmate who's mother is at home possibly dying of cancer! Then as if this were not enough for our family to deal with I go out to mow the lawn and have an attack from my Meniere's disease, better known as Vertigo on steroids. The result is loss of bodily function, violent vomiting, cold sweats, weakness and often hospitalization, the last time was for three days. There is no warning at all and these things are rough, this one, you guessed it the second worse I have ever had, took me out! Thank you Mom and Paul for coming over and sitting with me and the fam while the meds took over! yes my joy from the oppression was rather short lived. However let it be known it will be a cold day in H_ _ _ _ before I let the enemy get the best of me, or my family! Yes he used childish acts to get to my daughter and yes he disrupted our day and night, and yes he may even get a few more licks in, but if there is one thing I know it is this; "My God is in control!" The day of judgement for the enemy of our souls is in my opinion not far away, but nonetheless no matter how far away it is, he will suffer for eternity, and we will suffer only but for a while. And no matter how many fights he may win, or distractions he may throw our way he cannot change the future, and he cannot change our truths, he has lost, Christ has won the battle and since we are His we too have claim to victory, yahooo!
Dawn has been on her new chemo for seven days and so far her side effects have been very minimal, praise be to God! She is of course as beautiful as ever, and the wisdom continues to pass through her lips. Her energy level is waining some and for now we must limit any visits to strictly one hour once or twice a week, any more than that is too hard for her to recover from. Yes Dawn is very sick, and yes if she could she would love to see everyone, however the reality is she just cannot do so and still have quality time with her family. Please pray for our entire family, days like Monday truly do cause us great pain and suffering and while Dawn and I are able to handle it we cannot handle seeing our children hurting and scared. Strike up the band, pass the word, the enemy has gotten away with too much for too long it is time to send him packing let's pray!
Bless you all
Gene
Monday Morning I awoke with new and clear vision, I had a zeal to take on the world, a desire to return to my former joy, and so I did for at least a few hours. At 3:30 my mom came over delivering to me a not so happy twelve year old daughter whom she had rescued from school, you see mom has volunteered to take the girls to and from school for me on Mondays just to give a me a much needed break. Anyhow Michalela had a very bad day, first a girl pulled Michaela's pants down to her knees as she walked up the hill from the playground! Then as she topped the hill she finds that her backpack complete with all of her schoolwork and personal belongings was resting the boys restroom! No I am not making this up! Apparently we have some children who think it is no big deal to torment a fellow classmate who's mother is at home possibly dying of cancer! Then as if this were not enough for our family to deal with I go out to mow the lawn and have an attack from my Meniere's disease, better known as Vertigo on steroids. The result is loss of bodily function, violent vomiting, cold sweats, weakness and often hospitalization, the last time was for three days. There is no warning at all and these things are rough, this one, you guessed it the second worse I have ever had, took me out! Thank you Mom and Paul for coming over and sitting with me and the fam while the meds took over! yes my joy from the oppression was rather short lived. However let it be known it will be a cold day in H_ _ _ _ before I let the enemy get the best of me, or my family! Yes he used childish acts to get to my daughter and yes he disrupted our day and night, and yes he may even get a few more licks in, but if there is one thing I know it is this; "My God is in control!" The day of judgement for the enemy of our souls is in my opinion not far away, but nonetheless no matter how far away it is, he will suffer for eternity, and we will suffer only but for a while. And no matter how many fights he may win, or distractions he may throw our way he cannot change the future, and he cannot change our truths, he has lost, Christ has won the battle and since we are His we too have claim to victory, yahooo!
Dawn has been on her new chemo for seven days and so far her side effects have been very minimal, praise be to God! She is of course as beautiful as ever, and the wisdom continues to pass through her lips. Her energy level is waining some and for now we must limit any visits to strictly one hour once or twice a week, any more than that is too hard for her to recover from. Yes Dawn is very sick, and yes if she could she would love to see everyone, however the reality is she just cannot do so and still have quality time with her family. Please pray for our entire family, days like Monday truly do cause us great pain and suffering and while Dawn and I are able to handle it we cannot handle seeing our children hurting and scared. Strike up the band, pass the word, the enemy has gotten away with too much for too long it is time to send him packing let's pray!
Bless you all
Gene
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
True Peace
True Peace
Could it be that one of the greatest joys of heaven will be true peace? I mean if heaven is the reversal of those things that distract us here on the earth and keep us from fellowship with God then truly peace must be at or near the top of the list. I say this because now in my life I find no real or true peace, it seems that we simply move from one place of turmoil to another. And it’s not even that we choose to move from one to another but rather that we are being moved from one to another with no choice or sense of direction. I liken it to the steel ball in a pin ball game, we bounce from one trial to another, we cannot choose how we hit nor how or what direction we will go next, truly the only thing we control is our heart. One minute we are hopeful the next those hopes are crushed, one day we are healthy the next we are ill, one moment we are happy the next our joy has been stolen, if we trust it is betrayed, if we love we are hated, if we smile we are frowned upon, if we speak we are quieted, if we speak of faith we are called foolish, and if we trust in man all is lost! Yes I believe the greatest joy of heaven will be the presence of our God and the peace that He alone can bring. If I have learned nothing else through this time I have learned this; that the enemy of our souls seeks to cause turmoil at all costs in our lives, he has no peace, and therefore he will allow no one else to have it either.
This past week I have been ridiculed in so many strange ways that I can only attribute these incidents to the influence of the enemy. Even at this writing I understand that some who read this will find themselves mentioned here, not by name as I would never do that, but by deed, yes. I know of no one who is in my sphere of influence would ever choose to be used by the enemy to perfect his design upon my family or myself. However not desiring to does not prevent it, prevention only comes through prayer, patience, sacrifice and understanding all of which are quickly pushed aside by passion and emotion. Let me also say that I myself have far too many times fallen into this same trap and allowed myself to be used to destroy as opposed to building up, therefore I understand the pain of inflicting pain.
This week Dawn and I have received once again not so good news from the medical field, our children are struggling with their emotions, and I am under a physical and verbal attack like few I have ever seen and none like I have ever experienced before. Please understand I don’t share these things in order to receive pity, encouragement, or any other response, no but rather to encourage you. You see I know that each and every one of you are facing your own mountains and challenges, and you like we have an opportunity and a choice. The opportunity is to have the privilege to learn from your trial and be a light to others, to bring comfort to those who are facing their own mountains. Your decision you must make however is much more difficult, you must choose to trust in the one you cannot see, to hold on to arms you can’t feel, to stand on promises of old, and to walk with the confidence of one who believes these things to be true. And remember, no matter how similar your situation or challenge has been to that of someone else it is never the same, your truly cannot understand completely their struggle but you can love them, be gracious to them, and allow them to fail, after all Jesus does.
Dawn and I are both re-living the pain of being told that her illness was terminal, and no matter how faithful one is, the fear and reality of this disease is ever present. Dawn is as strong and faithful a person as I have ever met and she is doing all she can to stand, even though at every turn her legs are being knocked out from under her. We cry out constantly for His will to be a healing and deliverance for Dawn, and consequently for our entire family, thank you for joining us in doing so.
Gene
Could it be that one of the greatest joys of heaven will be true peace? I mean if heaven is the reversal of those things that distract us here on the earth and keep us from fellowship with God then truly peace must be at or near the top of the list. I say this because now in my life I find no real or true peace, it seems that we simply move from one place of turmoil to another. And it’s not even that we choose to move from one to another but rather that we are being moved from one to another with no choice or sense of direction. I liken it to the steel ball in a pin ball game, we bounce from one trial to another, we cannot choose how we hit nor how or what direction we will go next, truly the only thing we control is our heart. One minute we are hopeful the next those hopes are crushed, one day we are healthy the next we are ill, one moment we are happy the next our joy has been stolen, if we trust it is betrayed, if we love we are hated, if we smile we are frowned upon, if we speak we are quieted, if we speak of faith we are called foolish, and if we trust in man all is lost! Yes I believe the greatest joy of heaven will be the presence of our God and the peace that He alone can bring. If I have learned nothing else through this time I have learned this; that the enemy of our souls seeks to cause turmoil at all costs in our lives, he has no peace, and therefore he will allow no one else to have it either.
This past week I have been ridiculed in so many strange ways that I can only attribute these incidents to the influence of the enemy. Even at this writing I understand that some who read this will find themselves mentioned here, not by name as I would never do that, but by deed, yes. I know of no one who is in my sphere of influence would ever choose to be used by the enemy to perfect his design upon my family or myself. However not desiring to does not prevent it, prevention only comes through prayer, patience, sacrifice and understanding all of which are quickly pushed aside by passion and emotion. Let me also say that I myself have far too many times fallen into this same trap and allowed myself to be used to destroy as opposed to building up, therefore I understand the pain of inflicting pain.
This week Dawn and I have received once again not so good news from the medical field, our children are struggling with their emotions, and I am under a physical and verbal attack like few I have ever seen and none like I have ever experienced before. Please understand I don’t share these things in order to receive pity, encouragement, or any other response, no but rather to encourage you. You see I know that each and every one of you are facing your own mountains and challenges, and you like we have an opportunity and a choice. The opportunity is to have the privilege to learn from your trial and be a light to others, to bring comfort to those who are facing their own mountains. Your decision you must make however is much more difficult, you must choose to trust in the one you cannot see, to hold on to arms you can’t feel, to stand on promises of old, and to walk with the confidence of one who believes these things to be true. And remember, no matter how similar your situation or challenge has been to that of someone else it is never the same, your truly cannot understand completely their struggle but you can love them, be gracious to them, and allow them to fail, after all Jesus does.
Dawn and I are both re-living the pain of being told that her illness was terminal, and no matter how faithful one is, the fear and reality of this disease is ever present. Dawn is as strong and faithful a person as I have ever met and she is doing all she can to stand, even though at every turn her legs are being knocked out from under her. We cry out constantly for His will to be a healing and deliverance for Dawn, and consequently for our entire family, thank you for joining us in doing so.
Gene
Monday, March 1, 2010
Thank you Lord for the Strength!
In the fall of 1976 I was invited to tag along with some folks on a guided elk hunt deep into the backcountry of Northern Idaho our destination was an area known as the Devils Bedstead. Being nineteen at the time and always short on cash I agreed to go along as a camp helper, by doing so I would be allowed to join in the adventure all I needed to do was protect the camp cook from bears and help out with the packing. No problem here, I could shoot with the best of them and every day was spent on the back of a horse so this was of course a no brainer, so off I went. As we made the three hour horseback ride from base camp to the hunt camp I became quite concerned with the extreme steepness of the terrain, we were riding on a trail no more than 24” wide, and over a half mile of it was on the edge of a sheer 800’ plus drop to the Rising River rushing below. I remember thinking how glad I was that we were making this trip during the daylight hours, my dad had shared with me his fear from former years when they made a rush trip out one night, and believe me if it scared him it would scare anyone. Then if that wasn’t bad enough upon arriving at camp we were told that just a week before a guide has lost his life on that trail, he was tied hard and fast to his string when the trailing mule went off the trail dragging the entire string with him. They found the guide the next day his lifeless body severely broken by the fall, “yup you never tie hard and fast” barked one of the trail hands.
For the better part of the week I spent most of my time feeding and caring for stock, hauling water and provisions from one place to another, or chasing off bears that wandered in looking for a easy meal. It was late one afternoon when the guide came in and told me to saddle up the horse and get two teams ready, we needed feed and supplies which meant we were headed back to base camp. Well I did the math and quickly surmised that one of two things was about to happen, either I was spending the night at base camp, or I was riding back on that narrow trail in bear infested country after dark! Either way I was not leaving camp without my 44magnum revolver with the 7” barrel for protection, I knew I could stop anything we would encounter with it, the only question was how long would it take and would I be able to hit it while shaking profusely.
Well despite my intense prayers and fears once we loaded the hay and supplies on those mules we were headed out of base camp back down that dreaded trail on what was surely the darkest night I have ever seen. I truly could not see my hand in front of my face, and the use of any form of light was forbidden it was just too risky for the livestock. You see they could see in the darkness just fine, however just the faintest glow from a flashlight could give them short term blindness and send us all tumbling to the bottom of a ravine. The guide was a man of very few words, so few in fact that we never spoke once we started the three hour return trip to hunt camp, and other than the two times I saw him signal me with his light I felt completely and utterly alone in a very unfamiliar and treacherous place. At one point I startled what I thought was a bear and as he clamored up the bank sending rocks flying I made a move for my 44 in doing so I unsnapped the belt strap on my holster and thank God I stopped the gun from falling with my elbow. Now I’m in a pickle, if this gun falls and goes off were doomed these animals will surely bolt, I can’t let go of my reins or rope because after all I’m not tied hard and fast, so I’m left with attempting a task that is difficult enough with two hands let alone one. If I stopped and the guide continued on I would be stuck out here alone with no light and no idea of how to get to our destination, even if the horses knew the way I was not wanting to trust animals I had no history with if I didn’t have to. Well you guessed it, there was no way I could to re-attach this holster to my belt no matter how hard I tried, my only option; continue to lean over and hold it against my thigh with my elbow, I wonder how much longer we have to ride?
Oh yes we made it, and everything turned out just fine, I was a little sore to say the least but we made it in one piece all the way to our destination. I had long since left this memory stored away deep in the archives of my brain until just a few nights ago when it came rushing back to the forefront of memories. You see that night of terror was very much like what my family and I are going through; we are in a foreign place somewhere we have never been and yes the night is dark. We can’t see what lies ahead, all we see is what we imagine, or what we know based upon what the word of God promises us, yet even that is not a material thing. We are doing all we can to hold things together and we keep our eyes ahead searching and seeking a sign from the one who is leading the way, one wrong step and death awaits, and the enemy has stationed himself along the path waiting for any opportunity to cause us to doubt. Maybe it’s good that we can’t see, maybe it’s best that we diligently seek the light, and sure it is good that we know where our destination is, but I must admit it is far easier said than done.
Thank you Lord for the strength!
Dawn is doing rather well, her tummy is always sore and the nausea can sometimes be overwhelming, but all and all she looks very good considering her disease. This Tuesday the 2nd we meet with her doctor to discuss how things are progressing, prayerfully we will hear that the lord is doing a miracle, and no matter what we will share our faith!
Gene
For the better part of the week I spent most of my time feeding and caring for stock, hauling water and provisions from one place to another, or chasing off bears that wandered in looking for a easy meal. It was late one afternoon when the guide came in and told me to saddle up the horse and get two teams ready, we needed feed and supplies which meant we were headed back to base camp. Well I did the math and quickly surmised that one of two things was about to happen, either I was spending the night at base camp, or I was riding back on that narrow trail in bear infested country after dark! Either way I was not leaving camp without my 44magnum revolver with the 7” barrel for protection, I knew I could stop anything we would encounter with it, the only question was how long would it take and would I be able to hit it while shaking profusely.
Well despite my intense prayers and fears once we loaded the hay and supplies on those mules we were headed out of base camp back down that dreaded trail on what was surely the darkest night I have ever seen. I truly could not see my hand in front of my face, and the use of any form of light was forbidden it was just too risky for the livestock. You see they could see in the darkness just fine, however just the faintest glow from a flashlight could give them short term blindness and send us all tumbling to the bottom of a ravine. The guide was a man of very few words, so few in fact that we never spoke once we started the three hour return trip to hunt camp, and other than the two times I saw him signal me with his light I felt completely and utterly alone in a very unfamiliar and treacherous place. At one point I startled what I thought was a bear and as he clamored up the bank sending rocks flying I made a move for my 44 in doing so I unsnapped the belt strap on my holster and thank God I stopped the gun from falling with my elbow. Now I’m in a pickle, if this gun falls and goes off were doomed these animals will surely bolt, I can’t let go of my reins or rope because after all I’m not tied hard and fast, so I’m left with attempting a task that is difficult enough with two hands let alone one. If I stopped and the guide continued on I would be stuck out here alone with no light and no idea of how to get to our destination, even if the horses knew the way I was not wanting to trust animals I had no history with if I didn’t have to. Well you guessed it, there was no way I could to re-attach this holster to my belt no matter how hard I tried, my only option; continue to lean over and hold it against my thigh with my elbow, I wonder how much longer we have to ride?
Oh yes we made it, and everything turned out just fine, I was a little sore to say the least but we made it in one piece all the way to our destination. I had long since left this memory stored away deep in the archives of my brain until just a few nights ago when it came rushing back to the forefront of memories. You see that night of terror was very much like what my family and I are going through; we are in a foreign place somewhere we have never been and yes the night is dark. We can’t see what lies ahead, all we see is what we imagine, or what we know based upon what the word of God promises us, yet even that is not a material thing. We are doing all we can to hold things together and we keep our eyes ahead searching and seeking a sign from the one who is leading the way, one wrong step and death awaits, and the enemy has stationed himself along the path waiting for any opportunity to cause us to doubt. Maybe it’s good that we can’t see, maybe it’s best that we diligently seek the light, and sure it is good that we know where our destination is, but I must admit it is far easier said than done.
Thank you Lord for the strength!
Dawn is doing rather well, her tummy is always sore and the nausea can sometimes be overwhelming, but all and all she looks very good considering her disease. This Tuesday the 2nd we meet with her doctor to discuss how things are progressing, prayerfully we will hear that the lord is doing a miracle, and no matter what we will share our faith!
Gene
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