It was just Five months ago today that Dawn left her mortal body here on earth and joined the Lord and many other friends and family in heaven. It feels like it has been so much longer than it has, the pain of loss tends to weigh so heavy that you truly do feel at times like it was so long ago. Just this morning I was listening to Dawn's favorite song on the way home from dropping Michaela at school, I was glad I had already dropped her off, for two reasons. One being that this song pours in to our brains memories of our trip to Mexico last summer, fond memories of an amazing adventure. We were serving in San Vicente at the Remnant Center with Dan and Amalia Vallotton, we were leading a team of about 20 or so youth and adults. On the first night as we sat reminiscing the days adventure a young lady began to sing the most amazing of songs, her voice was fluid and angelic, the words obviously coming from the depths of her heart, there was no doubt she believed every word. You couldn't help but be captivated and before long all of us were drawn into the presence of God as we joined in the Chorus; "He loves us oh how he loves us, oh how He loves". It was then and there on that night that Dawn began to sing and hum that song on a seemingly never ending basis, and it honestly never grew old. Some songs you get in your head and the frustration of repeating them over and over in your mind causes it to be even more annoying as you can in no way get it out of your head. But not this song, not these words, no these words always bring comfort, always bring peace, and always for me fond memories of a more peaceful time, a time where Dawn was alive and serving beside me and her children.
In addition this song brings a peace like few other spoken or words put to music can bring, why? Because they are true, and because I can relate to them. You see I know what it means to love, and even more so I know what it means to love someone you were a part of creating, a child. I understand the depth of that love, and in some way it helps me to understand the depth of His love for me. I love my children with a love that cannot be placed into words, with a love that would cause me to sacrifice my own life if needed to for them. This is not a love I was forced to have, or had to learn or be trained in, no this was an instantaneous love that formed the very first nano second I laid eyes on each of them. This is a love that has no bounds, I am after all incapable of loving one more than the other, this is and must be the very essence of love, and yet He loves me (and you) more than I could ever love them, and there in lies the comfort. On this the five month anniversary of Dawn's passing His love for me is the blanket that warms me, that comforts me and brings my heart to peace. You see I do understand a Father's love and I would never allow anything to happen to my children that was not ultimately the very best for them. If I being a man limited by my humanness feel this way about my children then how much more does He feel toward me? Hence I know that He feels our pain, He feels our loss, He knows the outcome, and He being God has decided that this is what is best for us. How do I know you ask, because He could never inflict pain or hurt on any of His children, again because of that great love.
Dawn visited heaven before she died, she walked with the Lord, and she shared her stories with us, and for as long as she could, she sang this song; "Oh how He loves us", and that my friends is all the proof I need! He is my God, He loves me, and in that I will trust!
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