Living in the public eye is by no means all it is cracked up to be. When every move you make, every decision or action by you and your family is under constant scrutiny it can be very difficult to say the least. Such is however the life of a Pastor and thus you accept this responsibility as you do many others. Anytime you take even the slightest often non-controversial action criticism and comment is very quick to follow. In the past I have chosen to be a upfront about my feelings and the actions our family takes in order to quench as best possible the fiery darts of our adversary. Hence the reason for writing this letter, there are very big changes coming to the Burroughs household, some that have and will cause no small stirring. In order to best explain I am choosing to start at the beginning of the saga and possibly shed light on fears, concerns, and questions people may have. In October of 2010 when Dawn was diagnosed with terminal cancer I felt as though my world had come to an end. The grief that we felt as a family was beyond comprehension, the pain at times unbearable, and the fear of our future gripped our hearts, rarely letting go. Yes we had the promises of God and yes we knew where Dawn would spend eternity however the reality of her impending death of course overwhelmed our family. WIthout the support and prayers of so many of you we would have never made it through this extremely difficult time in our life. Dawn and I planned the future for Natalie, Michaela, and I, (Katie being married chooses her own), we spoke of where to live, the condition of our finances, and so much more, Dawn was very worried about how I would be able to do it all. She even made me promise to remarry someday, because the girls would need a woman’s touch and have someone to confide in. She was very specific as to who this person would be, someone who loved God, would love the girls, someone who could put up with me, (yes she said that) and her final requirement was no weirdos (that too). By the time Dawn passed I had been grieving for a number of months and honestly while it was a terrifying thing to see in the flesh, I was relieved for her, after all we knew where she had gone. Natalie Michaela and I have spent the time since building a relationship that I dare say very few men have ever had the pleasure of experiencing with their daughters. We have laughed, cried, prayed, traveled, fought, talked until wee hours, and so so much more! Many of the decisions I have made regarding our grieving process have received no small dose of criticism and while I have made mistakes with the Lord’s help we have truly done very well. We discuss everything, and yes I have even purchased some very private items for them, becoming rather well versed in the latest female fashion items. I can even hold a lengthy conversation on the best place to purchase your groceries, the most effective laundry detergent, and how to cook on the fly. Yes the girls have even helped me in the Church, they have given me freedom to minister, they have reminded me all too often when I have gotten a little to out there or spent too much time away from them. Did I mention, if so it is worth mentioning again, we have become inseparable, they truly are my life.
In August of this year and old friend (Deborah) who had lost her husband to cancer a year before Dawn’s passing came to Church and gave me some books on grief. Her husband and her family ministered in San Francisco and on many occasions we had served together with Outreach America and had remained in contact over the past thirteen or so years.. At the time of Brian's death they were Pastoring the Four Square Church in Red Bluff Ca. Deborah continued to attend our Church as she felt the Lord was calling her to this ministry and within a relatively short time she felt the Lord had made it clear to her that we were to be wed at some point. This was information she felt free to share with me which made me very uncomfortable, as I was in no way ready to even consider beginning a relationship with another woman. My heart still belonged to Dawn and nothing or know one would ever be allowed to come between me and the girls, I was convinced I could never love again. After several months of correspondence we arrived to the holiday season and I of course was still holding my heart captive and was not open to a relationship. Then, out of the mouth of babes (Natalie and Michaela) came a rebuke as to why I was being so rude to this nice lady Deborah. After some thought and prayer I asked the Lord to change my heart if I was being disobedient, and immediately things began to happen. Within the hour a prophet friend called and eluded to the fact that I was to enter in to a relationship, that there would be no lack of confrontations, that I was to progress as He led, step by step. The long story short is that Natalie and Michaela have fallen in love with Deborah, they laugh again, they play again, and they are happier than I have seen then since mom was diagnosed. I too fell in love with this woman of God as we began to pray and share our vision for ministry. Scriptures began to come and every day (often multiple times) we would receive confirmation and prophetic words encouraging us that this was the Lord’s plan for our lives. Natalie and Michaela have been in on every key discussion about the future and have agreed that they would like Debbie to be their step mother. All of us acknowledge that know one could replace Dawn, she was the love of my life the Children’s mother, and so much more, and she will never be forgotten. However we also acknowledge that in our life we need a help mate, dad can only do so much and lets face it with Michaela quickly approaching thirteen a woman’s touch is much appreciated. I must say however Thank You to all of the women who have taken my daughters under your wing s’ and blessed them and in such an amazing way. Therefore after much prayer and over forty days of fasting and receiving confirmation upon confirmation, I have asked deborah Officer to be my wife, to partner with me in raising the girls as well as standing beside me as we Pastor the Church. She has of course agreed to do so and there will come a day when the wedding will take place that has yet to be determined.
Many have stated things like: "it's too soon", or your "not through grieving", or any other number of statements, comments, far too many to list here. May I say this, I have asked myself all of them, most of them Natalie and Michaela have joined me in addressing, and Deborah and her children have been going through this process as well. This is no small decision to be taken lightly and let me assure you that it has not been. This decision has been bathed in prayer, confirmed with scriptures, dreams, affirmation, and miraculous works which we someday hope will be detailed in a book. We believe that the transformation in our hearts, the clarity of vision, the unity of spirits, has come about only as the result of the Lord's leading. Yes feelings and hearts are hurting and will be hurt, however we are not to allow those, nor any of our emotions to determine the path we choose. We are instead directed to call upon the Lord, to seek His will, we are called to obey a higher calling than that of our flesh, and we believe that this is what we have chosen to do. For decades my life has been an open book, for over fourteen months you have read of our pain, felt your own, prayed for us, held us, fed us, loved us, and you have supported us, today we would ask that you would continue to do so. We have many challenges ahead, but we know the Lord is going before us hence we are able to stand and withstand clothed in the full armor of God.
Dear friends I end with these words: please trust that these are not the actions of a desperate or lonely man or woman, this is not the result of someone delirious from grief. Natalie and Michaela do not love Deborah because she has taken them shopping, or because of things she has done, they love her because they see Jesus in her, and the love she has for them. They have not been deceived nor wooed into a stupor, these are the daughters of Dawn and she raised them to know better. As for myself, I have heard from the Lord, I love Deborah with all of my heart and if you know me at all you know that when i have heard clearly from the Lord nothing will deter me, not even myself. As for when we will marry I gave the Natalie and Michaela that decision before their mother passed away and they retain that same decision making power today. I know you have many questions, concerns, and even comments, please do not allow the enemy to run scenarios and cause dissension and gossip,we all know those are dangerous things. Our family will work through this as we always have, with the support of those who love us, the prayers of the saints, and most of all with the protection and guidance of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Gene Burroughs
Servant of God
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